Bad Brew

Never accept beer from a wizard bartender who you insulted. It never turns out well. Here's the low down my name was Nick I was a muscle bound hot head who liked 3 things, making fun of weakling, fucking bitches, and drinking beer. One night I'm going out on the town to some new bar that just opened up. Buddy of mine went he said the babes and the brews were magical. I thought he must been high or something. What do I care if I can get some bitch to end the night on my Hot Rod. it would be a good evening. 
     I get to the place around 7 or so on Friday walk in and to my unfortunate surprise the only person in there are some old as fucker standing behind the bar who looked like he would have trouble hold a glass let alone running a bar. I wanted to get something to drink before I left this excuse for a bar just so I could say I tried them before I wrote the place off. 
     I walked up to the Bar sat my ass done on one of the stools and ordered what ever was on tap. The old man took my order and made his way to the tap. He pored me a beer and brought it over and went back to clean dishes. After I finished I ordered another. although the company sucked ass the beer was damn good. The bartender slowly got me another. Once I had it I stared to cat to the old guy. 
"Hey barkeep where are all the Bitches at." I barked at him.
"Say again what do you mean I wouldn't allow dogs in here." He retorted
 "What you mean I said nothing about no dogs I said where are the bitches at. You know the hoes the women." 
"Oh I see your a misogynistic simpleton. That explains so much. 
"What did you call me old man." I yelled as I stood up. "You take back what you said or I'm going to bash you face in with my fist."
He backed away slowly as I moved closer till he was against the wall. "I'm sorry sir." he mumbled out as I got close enough to deliver on my threat. 
"That's what I thought, Now bring me another brew on the house and make it the good shit." I said as I sat down at my seat pushing my glass away.
"Yes sir." He meekly replied as he pulled an odd looking bottle from under the counter. He grabbed a new cup and pored the drink inside it. It was a pink swirl of color. 
"Wait right there Old man I'm not drinking no girly drink what is that." I yelled at him as he finished pouring.
"It's a bottle of Mutat malum hominis in utero habenti, a very rare drink form the heart of Amazonian forest. Very rich and very costly. Only 5 bottles are sold to the out side world per year." 
"Really well give it here then." I said taking the glass from the man. I drank the contents quickly and felt the alcohol effects almost immediately I was light headed already. I ordered another he pored it just the same, and I drank it just the same. I keep doing so getting drunker and drunker as I went. Unknown to me at the time I was also getting more womanly as I drank. The Bartender watched with a smile on my face as I transformed. 
     Finally I passed out falling backwards as my body finished it's transformation. In the end I looked nothing like my old self. I was shorter, slimmer, no muscle mass at all, and to top it all of I was 8 months pregnant. 
     That was last week. The wizard said that this new form was punishment for how I treated him and I would adapt to my new body but my mind would always be mine own. He also said that the drink would make me extremely fertile and crave men when ever I could get pregnant. Also as a side effect I could only ever have girls when I gave birth. So now I need to find a man to shack up with so when the baby comes and I start on the next one I can have some help.